Taco Bell to remove every single menu item

Image courtesy of Taco Bell

Although Taco Bell has long been known for its experimental menu decisions, the restaurant chain’s latest move to suspend all their menu items is a spicy twist in what was already revving up to be an exciting fall filled with disappointment for all of their customers.

That’s right, in 2020’s latest twist of cruel fate, Taco Bell locations will be taking down their menus, and serving only prebrewed sweet tea and plain tortillas. The restaurant called the move a “cost saving measure” and an “opportunity to show our employees how to put hard shell tacos on top, in the bag so they don’t crush the shells.

“We want to assure everyone, that as soon as we figure out why exactly we keep breaking your hard shells and why we sometimes we forget to put meat in the tacos, we will add out old menu items back,” said a spokesperson at the Taco Bell press conference, which was held in the parking lot of a Chili’s. “With so much retraining needing done, we figured we would take it back to the drawing board with just plain tortillas and water. Once we get our groove back, we will take baby steps toward recovering a full menu. First maybe we start with two ingredient items like cheese quesadillas before moving on to our more difficult products like tacos, which have up to three ingredients, or supreme tacos which feature as many as five ingredients at a time. We want to thank everyone for their patience while we rethink our whole brand.”

The move to take their menu back to square one follows Taco Bell removing a number of more complicated items from their menu. They removed the Mexican Pizza and shredded chicken options last week.

Stay tuned for more information about Taco Bell’s latest menu shake up!

(Satire article, if that wasn’t clear)

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Media critique and memes. Writing about rhetoric and society. MA in Communication They/He

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Aaron J. Alford

Aaron J. Alford

Media critique and memes. Writing about rhetoric and society. MA in Communication They/He

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